After reading chapter 6 and doing the exercise on loving-kindness, I felt more relaxed and that I had a more open heart. I have a tendency to have negative views about the people around me (working the desk at a dry cleaners for 10 years, and handling membership accounts at a gym with automatic billing will do that to you!) regardless of if I know them or not. I have a very small group of close friends and I do not make much of an effort to expand on that, partly because I never have free time, and partly because I just don't have the energy for it. With that said, and this may seem contradicting, I am one of the most helpful people you will every meet. As strange as that sounds, I will rarely if ever say no to helping anyone with anything, and it is not a forced effort but my knee jerk reaction. I almost wish I was able to say no thanks or no I'm sorry sometimes but I always am happy with my decision after the fact. I think that the loving-kindness exercise allowed me to take a deep look inside, and feel emotionally the way I act physically. I suggest anyone that has 5 free minutes should try this and see if it has the same calming heart affect as it did for me!
Mental workouts!! yay!! Being a group fitness instructor, workouts are my specialty. And as a group fitness instructor, you learn quickly how to deal with other workouts, like patience workouts and motivational workouts. One of the classes I teach is BodyPump, a strength and endurance barbell class that goes to music. Its 5-6 minutes straight per muscle group, which as you can imagine, is a true test of endurance. I can get through them with my eyes closed, motivated or not, because I am so used to being the instructor. But days that I am not motivated to teach I need to workout my acting skills so that my participants are motivated and pumped up. At the same time, there are always the participants that come all the time and make no real effort to give it all they have (hey, going to the gym and just being there doesn't mean you went to the gym and exercised!) I then get my workout in patience when they as week after week, how can I get rid of this, or how can I do strengthen this, and then proceed to smile, nod, and ignore everything I just suggested :) Mental workouts can come in all shapes and sizes, but working out your mind to benefit yourself, to achieve that integral health, of happiness and wholeness, can be one of the best things you can do. If you can workout and train your mind to function in the way you want, you will never go back to letting it go back to laying on the couch useless and lazy!
Hi Suzanne! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I also enjoyed the loving-kindness exercise and feel like it could be a big driving force in my life. I recognize through some of your statements that you are in need of a refreshing outlook on humanity. I often need reminded that we cannot control others around us, but we can control our thoughts and reactions toward them. Understanding that we are all different and not everyone shares the same views of loving-kindness and generosity that we do will save a lot of frustration. I also sense that you have a lot to offer the world but hesitate in the fact that someone can offer you the same things or that you may deserve this. I say this as I am the same way. I am suspicious of the motivations of others most times and really don't allow myself to think I deserve the same loving-kindness I project to others. I hear this when you say you rarely say no to anybody who asks you for help, but there is reluctance in letting others in as you say you just don't have the energy for it. You do so many things to help others and create a better life for them. Sometimes we have to recognize that we're worth it as well and must take care of ourselves, too. You are worth it, and just maybe the skepticism of others may fade and lighten your heart a bit. You deserve to feel the light hearted way of knowing who in your life can give you loving-kindness, and who just may need you to extend it to them. Your workout class sounds like fun. I love to workout and because I live in a small town and am not close to gyms such as yours, I do P90X in my home. It has elevated my fitness well above my expectations, and quite frankly have never done anything that has provided such results. I would however love to try your BodyPump class to feed off the energy of a group for motivation! Hope you have a great week, Suzanne :-) Katie Shull
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your thoughts on the loving-kindness exercise. Have you ever seen the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carey I think? He on the other hand said no all the time but when he took this class he was forced to say yes all the time. Now looking back on this movie it was quite funny but the lesson it tells is so great. You have to have a happy medium in your life. We need to know our boundaries and in knowing this we can have a balance of our emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. I like your last comment on training your mind. So true. Once we have it functioning the way we want it we can have the power to change the outcomes of our integral health. I would like to take your Body pump class too. It sounds fun. I hope you have a great week. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Suzanne,
ReplyDeleteYou made a comment in your post that I think a lot of people could relate to...that you tend to have negative views about people, yet you are one of the most helpful people you know. I feel that all of us have a desire to be helpful, to connect to others and try to ease the suffering of others (minor or major suffering). Unfortunately, we live in a world that is constantly bombarding us with negativity and that tends to rub off on a person.
I know so many people that have such a negative outlook on other people in their lives, in their workplace, and in people that they have to deal with in general. There is one in particular that I am thinking of. She is almost hard to be around sometimes because of her negativity, however, when it comes to taking care of her spouse (who is disabled) or helping a family member who is in need, she is the most kind, gentle, giving person I can think of. It almost seems contradictory, but I think it does show that we all have the capacity for loving-kindness, and intentionally practicing these things will certainly improve the way that we see the world and react to the world.